Saturday, February 19, 2005
A POLICEMAN'S BLOG
http://coppersblog.blogspot.com/2004_11_01_coppersblog_archive.html#110087906539425656
Friday, November 19, 2004
HUNTING TO BE BANNED- HOORAY!
I have absolutely no qualms about arresting evil hunters-with-dogs, they should be locked up and given counselling like common criminals.
The banning of hunting is the latest in a long line of government attempts to make us see the error of our ways and turn us into a more humane society, whether we like it or not.
Personally I was never keen on riding, I preferred badger baiting and bear dancing. I always had my doubts about the former, particularly when it came to breaking all four of the badgers legs and then turning a perfectly good shaving brush into a piece of roadkill. I had no such moral qualms about watching an old bear moonwalking though: if they didn’t enjoy it they wouldn’t do it.
Arresting foxhunters will be like shooting fish in a barrel (I won’t be surprised if the government try to ban that next). They will be cooperative and pleasant, they will admit the offence and they will never complain about the police. They will not smell because they regularly bathe, they will live nearby and will always attend the police station when required. In short, they will be a delight to work with.
Prior to the ban on hunting, police officers had to arrest anti-hunters: vile, student types with long hair and piercings who insisted on intimate knowledge of the law and who were represented by equally unpleasant solicitors. These people always lived miles away and would make complaints about the police as a matter of course. They always carried video cameras and would use them to gather evidence of the atrocities carried out by foxhunters and the police.
So you can see why I’m so happy at this change in the law: I’ll be able to spend more time on my paperwork and be less time arresting people and bringing them before the courts.
So, what’s next on our legislative journey to a new utopia? Decriminalisation of theft and the compulsory installation of CCTV in newly built homes? Now, that really would make my life easier, especially if there was never any tape in the cameras.
Friday, November 19, 2004
HUNTING TO BE BANNED- HOORAY!
I have absolutely no qualms about arresting evil hunters-with-dogs, they should be locked up and given counselling like common criminals.
The banning of hunting is the latest in a long line of government attempts to make us see the error of our ways and turn us into a more humane society, whether we like it or not.
Personally I was never keen on riding, I preferred badger baiting and bear dancing. I always had my doubts about the former, particularly when it came to breaking all four of the badgers legs and then turning a perfectly good shaving brush into a piece of roadkill. I had no such moral qualms about watching an old bear moonwalking though: if they didn’t enjoy it they wouldn’t do it.
Arresting foxhunters will be like shooting fish in a barrel (I won’t be surprised if the government try to ban that next). They will be cooperative and pleasant, they will admit the offence and they will never complain about the police. They will not smell because they regularly bathe, they will live nearby and will always attend the police station when required. In short, they will be a delight to work with.
Prior to the ban on hunting, police officers had to arrest anti-hunters: vile, student types with long hair and piercings who insisted on intimate knowledge of the law and who were represented by equally unpleasant solicitors. These people always lived miles away and would make complaints about the police as a matter of course. They always carried video cameras and would use them to gather evidence of the atrocities carried out by foxhunters and the police.
So you can see why I’m so happy at this change in the law: I’ll be able to spend more time on my paperwork and be less time arresting people and bringing them before the courts.
So, what’s next on our legislative journey to a new utopia? Decriminalisation of theft and the compulsory installation of CCTV in newly built homes? Now, that really would make my life easier, especially if there was never any tape in the cameras.
